I have resolved to not hold back.

I believe I said this last year as well, but I generally disrespect new year's resolutions. Why? Because, for the most part, people don't keep them. People make them and tell others about all of the wonderful things they've resolved to accomplish in the coming year, usually looking for encouragement or applause from the people they brag to. I don't see why January 1st is so important. It's just another day that happens to be the first day of a new calendar year. Does it really symbolize new beginnings? Maybe for some. It would take a much more dedicated person to make half-year's resolutions, or quarter year's resolutions, or random day's resolutions. Why does it have to be the start of a new year in order for people to resolve to be better?

But, I will admit, that despite my hatred for new year's resolutions, I have resolved to not hold back. I don't want to be shy (even though I'm not nearly as bad as I used to be) all the time. I want to make more friends, I want to experience everything I possibly can. I don't want to miss out on any opportunities that come my way. I don't want to look back and have any regrets. I turn 21 this year, and I'll be starting my senior year of college in September. It's going to be a big year, and I want it to be one that I won't forget.

Janterm started yesterday. I'm taking psychology of sleep & dreams and yoga. Best janterm ever? I'm thinking yes. y.e.s. We've only had two days of class, so I'm hoping it keeps going as well as it has been. Who knows? it could turn into a horrible situation or become extremely boring, but so far, it's been good. Although, I did fall asleep on the first day of class, aaaaand I'm pretty sure the professor saw me. I felt so bad, and that's never an impression I want to give on the first day. The work load is much more intense than I thought it would be - a lot of reading and lots of reading questions. It took a lot longer than I thought it would, and tonight's assignment is longer than last nights. Luckily, we only have one test and one paper for the class, which is super nice. The amount of homework is most definitely doable, but the issue right now is my utter lack of motivation to do it. I would much rather just nap, read books, and watch movies. It's crazy to think that I only have three more weeks until janterm is over and I'm home for a short break again. I have to keep reminding myself of this so I don't get overwhelmed.

Christmas break went by much too quickly. I got to see my lovelies in the classic crime, which is always a delight. Seriously, that band will never get old to me, ever. They put on a live show that will blow your mind up. Daphne loves derby played with them, and it was my first time seeing them, which was fun. Unfortunately, since me and my sister got to the venue late, assuming we'd only missed one band, we missed Moneta's set. We thought they were playing third, when they ended up playing second, and the show started earlier than we had been told. It was super lame, but it was still an awesome night. I spent a lot of time at my favorite coffee shops while I was home. Bauhaus and Victor's for life! I also played my guitar and sang in front of an audience for the first time in my life. My sister and I wrote a Christmas song that we performed at my mom's church/my old church the Sunday before Christmas. I was extremely nervous, but it ended up being pretty fun. Christmas is always nice with the family, and new year's eve was an uneventful occasion, as usual. It was a nice relaxing break though, which is what I needed. I'm surprisingly glad to be back at school, despite the fact that most of my friends are studying abroad for Janterm. I've been more cheerful than I thought I would be, and there aren't feet of snow on the ground, which always makes me happy. Even though I've been eating meals alone and haven't done anything exciting or super social (besides watching the bachelor last night with a friend...what can I say? It's a guilty pleasure), I'm still in an awesome mood. We'll see how I feel in three weeks though. I'm sure I'll be lonely and bored out of my mind by the time I go home again.