soapbox on dating and relationships

things are not going well right now. there is a ridiculous amount of crap that has been occurring lately, and i can't get away from it. some how the drama just seems to be following me. i'm really annoyed because college is a time for people to grow up and learn how to deal with issues like adults. honestly, there is about five times the amount of drama here as i had to deal with back home, which pisses me off. people are turning out to not be the people i thought they were. i'm finding things out about people that i did not know before, and they aren't always good things.

time for a soapbox on dating and relationships. ready?

I feel like I have a much deeper expectation for what a relationship should be, what it should be like, and reasons for having a relationship, than many people I know. My youth group was against high school and junior high relationships (not that they wouldn't accept you if you did have them), believing them to be unnecessary and distracting to one's budding relationship with God. At first, I did not understand this belief, I thought it to be absurd and ridiculous. But when I learned more, I began to understand and agree. A "relationship" should be for the purpose of finding out if someone is right for you, the person you are meant to be with. It should not be something you do because it makes you feel good. Of course being liked would make anyone feel good. Knowing you are desirable to someone of the opposite sex is something everyone wants. I am NOT ashamed to admit that I have never been in a relationship...not to mention (obviously) that I have never been kissed. Why should I waste my time in a relationship with someone, just because of my own desires, and selfish ones at that? I don't see the purpose of having a 'significant other' if I know there is absolutely no possibility of them being 'the one'.

I don't understand the draw of having a boyfriend just to have one. I recently told someone (who asked me if I plan to have a boyfriend in college this year) that if the right person comes along, then yes, I will have a relationship. I won't enter into a relationship because it is fun, because it is enjoyable, because it's nice to cuddle or hold hands, because it's nice to have someone enjoy my company, or because they like me. I don't see the point. One's desires can make them think they like someone, when the truth is that they like to be liked.
Being at a christian school, it is encouraging to know that the majority of the guys here are christians, but the fact is, many or most of them probably do not share the same views on relationships as I do. Some do not even share the same morals. I know there is someone out there for me. Someone who takes relationships as seriously as I do. As far as a "first kiss" goes, I almost view it in the same way as I view "saving myself for marriage." How wonderful would it be to tell my husband that he is only he 2nd, 3rd, or 4th guy i've ever kissed? Where as, some people have kissed so many they can't remember them all. If I have waited 18 years, why blow my first kiss on some guy that doesn't really mean anything to me, or that I don't truly feel a connection with? I figure, I can wait until someone wonderful comes along to sweep me off my feet, and tell people that my first kiss was absolutely wonderful....not that it was with some stupid kid from seventh grade whose name I don't even remember.

It makes me sad that relationships don't mean much any more. In the old days, a man would ask a woman's father's permission to ask her out on a date. Relationships have become so normal, so casual, that there isn't much meaning left to them, and that wasn't the way God made them to be.