i can't trust my feelings.

i'm going to make this quick for now because i'm supposed to be studying for the core 250 and econ tests that i have tomorrow morning [which i've barely begun studying for]. oops.

i get this feeling every once in a while, and i really hate it. i don't know what brings it on, or how to make it stop. i will just randomly start thinking about my life, and how i have no idea how i'm going to end up doing what i want with my life. i have these goals that i'm working toward, but they seem so far off and impossible. i just wonder - what am i doing here? and it's not even about whitworth any more, like it used to be. last year, i really questioned whether or not whitworth was the right place for me to be at this point in my life. i seriously considered transferring. i'm really glad that i chose to stay, because i do feel like this is where i'm supposed to be. but now, it's just about other things, everything. am i doing what god wants me to do? am i striving to follow his will instead of my own? am i being the light to the world that he's called me and all other believers to be? am i spending to much time thinking about worldly things - daydreaming of sorts? do i devote too much time to thinking about things i don't have, but desperately want? are my dreams and goals too big, too grandiose? and sometimes i feel like god is speaking to me [no, it's not like voices, more like really, really intense feelings from deep down that i can't explain], but then i question and doubt it over and over again. are these thoughts just my own desires manifesting themselves in such a way to make me think it's god? ugh. i can't trust my feelings. i don't know what to trust any more.