no luck for me. naturally. nothing can ever happen easily for me.

it's time for a much needed study break. okay, so i've actually only been doing homework for a couple hours, but i'm already so bored i can't focus...not to mention that i've finished everything that is actually due tomorrow...the rest is really just optional for right now. i can always do it tomorrow. i'm listening to a rocket to the moon, my guilty pleasure. nick santino's voice is just so...so...smooth? i don't know how to describe it, but i absolutely love it. i've been listening to it non-stop.

i went to a 'keggar' last night, haha. now, before you jump to all sorts of horrible conclusions, this was merely a rootbeer keggar [the only kind of 'keggar' we're allowed to have on a dry campus, haha], mostly to have fun, but also for alcohol awareness. it was super fun, and there were so many people there...to the point where you could barely move around, but it was really fun. there was even dancing, that i mildly [and i do mean mildly] participated in...but mostly i just stood there awkwardly and watched. the hatred i have for dancing [in public] held me back a bit. now, mind you, i don't mind dancing to a little all time low or mayday parade when i can pump it loud and dance around in my underwear all by my lonesome...but the thought of dancing with other people literally makes my breathing quicken. let's just say, it's not something i enjoy.

i finished re-reading new moon today. ridiculous, right? but i realized today, that since harry potter, this is the first series that has made me want to read...more than going on facebook or myspace, or watching tv, or wasting time on the internet. it makes me want to curl up in bed for hours upon hours and get wrapped up in the world of edward and bella. it's unreal how quickly it sucks me in, and refuses to let me stop. it's bad though, because if i read it for too long, i start to envision myself as bella...which is really not good. it's bad mostly because edward is not real - so clearly and obviously a fictional charater. he is too perfect and treats bella too well...nobody talks like him or says things like he does. normal guys don't 'dazzle,' though i suppose [and hope] that when i find the right person, he will dazzle me - in a sense at least...the way bella's heart skips a beat and she can't catch her breath when he gets real close or kisses her. i hope that falling in love is like that. i think this is one reason why i would never just date someone just to be dating someone. why waste my emotions, time, and energy on someone that i don't feel an intense connection with from the get-go.

which reminds me, the emo population at whitworth has definitely increased since last year, at least from what i can tell. this an encouraging observation. though, this also proposes a problem - i don't know any of them, and don't have classes with any of them. i was very sad to discover that none of the people i spotted in saga over the first few days were in any of my classes....i was hoping to be able to sit next to them [by chance, of course] and introduce myself, but no luck for me. naturally. nothing can ever happen easily for me.

i'm already missing my seattle bands, and i've only been gone a week :[ i fantasize about being at a moneta show...and i think of the super tall guy that's always in the front center and screams the lyrics in jerry's face, haha, and chrisb jumping around the stage with his giant fro, trying to pump the crowd up. i miss them terribly. not to mention the bands i haven't seen in ages like the real you, this providence, or danger radio [who i wouldn't really consider 'local' any more...they're getting so popular!]. it's weird coming and going from that scene. during the summer i go to so many shows and get to see most of my favies [though a couple of them were recording this summer, so no shows for me], and then i have to go from a few concerts a month to practically none. though, there's a show on thursday i want to go to, if i can find someone to accompany me. it's bank and abandon kansas. it should be a really good show...the difficulty is convincing someone to go with me. most people have never heard of those bands, so it's hard. and then barcelona is playing at whitworth on september 19t, which is convenient! and, they're playing with this band called Raining and Ok, and they're really good too. then, on the 20th, a rocket to the moon is playing in downtown spokane with the cab, hey monday and a band from seattle called shyforshy. this providence is on the tour with the cab/ARTM/hey monday, but they don't have the date listed on their page, and their name isn't on the show poster...i'm still holding out a shred of hope that they will be there. when i first found out that they were on that tour with ARTM and coming to spokane while i'm here, i literally started jumping around my room - no joke. i haven't seen them in almost a year and a half, which is so unacceptable. so, naturally, it would work out that that is the one date of the tour that they won't be playing, for whatever reason. but, like i said, i'm still holding out hope that they'll be there. either way, i still want to go because i am so obsessed with a rocket to the moon, and i want to see him soo bad. hopefully i can find someone to go to that with me as well. i don't want to miss that for anything. a rocket to the moon is from massachusetts, so the chances to see them are few and far between. i cannot miss my chance.

i've been really bad about going to bed a decent time since i started school. i don't think i've gone to bed before 1am since i've been back. which, for college, isn't really that late...but when you have an 8am class, that is late. i really should work on getting to bed earlier. unfortunately, about an hour ago i drank a latte, so i'll most likely be up for another couple hours. instead of devoting my energy to blogging, i should really go do some school work...that is what i pay all these thousands upon thousands of dollars to do, right? right.