17 days before i get to go home

i have a mid term tomorrow for old testament and i really need to study for it....so naturally, i'm not. i don't feel like doing much of anything lately besides sleeping. unfortunately i'm not tired enough to fall asleep right now, so i find other ways to avoid doing work. i have no motivation to do anything constructive lately. like, i'm talking no motivation whatsoever. in fact, i'm getting kinda tired just typing this. i shouldn't be tired though because i had a grande vanilla latte at 1. two shots of espresso should be keeping me more than alert at the moment. however, i'm very sleepy now.

i can't wait for spring break to come. i only have to wait 17 days before i get to go home, and possibly go visit my sister as well, which would be simply amazing. i can't wait for this semester to be over. the day i get to go home for the summer is going to be a wonderful day. i miss riding terribly, and i'm hoping to find a place to ride for the summer. i can't go an entire summer without it, or i might lose my mind. i'm sad that my old barn kinda fell apart. most of the horses i had known for four years have been sold which is really sad.

i bought a couple cd's on smartpunk last week and they finally got here yesterday! let's see, i got The Summer Set, Making April and Parade the Day. i had only heard of a couple of them, but they were each only about 5 dollars each, so i previewed them on myspace before buying them. they all turned out to be pretty good, which is awesome. i had been feeling the need for some new music, so it was fun to get some new stuff to listen to. also, i sent out packages to my sisters today. i spent a long time preparing their little presents yesterday which was fun. i hope they like them.

i found out a couple days ago that holyfield is coming to spokane! it's not until april 21st, but it still definitely made my day. as much as going to concerts like minus the bear and rocky votolato is great, there's just something special about being able to see my favorite bands from home, and seeing their familiar faces. it just makes me giddy thinking about seeing them. it's the best news i've gotten in a long time. it's funny how something so seemingly small can cheer me up so much. although, it doesn't really cheer me up, it just makes me really look forward to april 21st.

i suppose i should give in and actually study for the midterm that's worth almost half of my grade. blah.

could my saturday be more boring?

gosh, my life is boring. seriously. i have done pretty much nothing constructive today. want to know what i did?

1. randomly woke up at 4am to find my roommate's bed empty...then went back to sleep of course
2. woke up at 9:45ish.
3. worked out.
4. watched gymnastics on tv then took a shower.
5. went to lunch (by myself....again)
6. got a grande vanilla latte at the coffee shop.
7. watched two episodes of Eli Stone.
8. studied for two and a half hours.
9. watched an episode of survivor.
10. wasted time on the internet.

and now, here i am. could my saturday be more boring? i don't think so. this is just one more reason why i need to find friends who actually want to hang out/spend time with me. is it that much to ask? apparently. i just keep telling myself "20 days until i get to go home and leave this horrible place." and only a couple months until i get to leave here for the entire summer and be with people that care about me and love me. blah. i think it will really help me mentally if i get to see my sister over spring break. i haven't seen her since january 6th when i left to come back to school. i miss my best friend. it sucks being so far away.

also, i've really been missing my pups lately. i miss taking bubbzy everywhere with me...especially to the starbucks drive-thru where he shakes at the sight of strangers. i miss going to runs with him and seeing him so happy. i miss him jumping into my lap when i sit on the sofa. i even miss the hilarity of trying to hold him down to clip his nails. i miss hugging mooky when i'm having a bad day. i miss him sitting under my feet while watching tv or sleeping at the end of my bed while i fall asleep. i miss kissing his whiskers. i miss him smiling at me when i come home. i miss rubbing my kitten's belly. i miss her squinty happy eyes.

i know this seems ridiculous, but i really miss my bed, haha. it's amazingly comfortable and it's so big...it's like sleeping on a big cloud. i miss dancing around my room in my underwear to loud music while trying to pick out an outfit for the day...well, i guess i could still do that, but it'd be extremely awkward. ugh. i could honestly think of a million things that i miss, but listing them all is not going to help me be any happier or miss them any less.

there was an amazing concert at the showbox last night, which i of course missed. i'm starting to get over the fact that i've already missed at least 5 amazing shows and continue to miss amazing shows, but it doesn't make me any less sad that i'm missing them...i guess i've just come to terms with the fact that there's nothing i can do about it. i am so serious about wanting to work in the music industry. it would be sweet to have something i love so much be my career.

i think i'm gonna go get a muffin or somethin.

pretty much a steal

i'm so over it. i'm so done.

so anyways, haha... i can't believe tomorrow is march 1st. it seems so unreal. i get to go home in 21 days. three weeks exactly. it was kind of a miracle actually. i found a flight home that cost 29 dollars! it leaves at 7am, but hey, 3o bucks is practically nothing. it would have been 75 if i were to fly home on thursday night, so i'm saving about 45 bucks, which is pretty sweet. it's kinda crazy because driving home would easily cost more than that with the high gas prices nowadays.

i just bought an amazing album on itunes that i've been completely obsessed with: there came a lion by Ivoryline. it is so wonderful in every way. i've been listening to it non-stop since i bought it a few days ago. plus, it was only 7.99, which was pretty much a steal.

well, classes haven't improved any. my old testament class started out okay this semester, but now i never have any idea what the professor is talking about. he uses all these terms that he has apparently discussed in class, but i have no idea what they mean. it's just hard to sit in class listening to someone and be just slightly confused throughout the entire lecture. then of course, there's math, which is pretty much a joke. it's so easy, that i finished the first test in 25 minutes when it was written to take at least 40 minutes. and people in it are so dumb that they don't even know how to plug numbers into formulas. i guess it's just really frustrating after taking calculus last year to have to move to the very easiest math class because it's required for my major. blah. it's dumb. i'm still liking sociology, one of my only good classes. philosophy of religion is super, super interesting, but it's a 300 level class, and i can definitely tell. the reading is really difficult and the subject matter is really heavy, and sometimes really hard to understand. it doesn't help that i don't have a philosophical mind AT ALL. seriously, people will say things in class and i'm just baffled...i think to myself "wow, i never would have thought of it that way...ever." or "i have no idea how you figured that out." it's just kind of mind boggling. it really makes me think, but it's also extremely challenging.

i went out to lunch with rebecca and lauren today at red robin, and then me and lauren went to see Penelope. it was soo cute. it was really fairytale-ie, but i really liked it a lot, and it definitely had a good message.

a hermit in my own head.

i've been having some doubts lately...doubts about whether whitworth is where God wants me, or if it's where i'm supposed to be right now. there are a lot of reasons. tuition cost is already ridiculous, but is increasing to $35,120 for next year. i haven't really liked most of my classes...out of all of my professors the entire year, i've had two that have been really good....and some of them were, erm, bad. not to mention, i hate the weather and the area in general. plus, i haven't really made any friends here, besides Emilie, who lives in Bellevue anyway, so i'd be able to see her during the summer and stuff. i'm considering transferring to azusa pacific university or the master's college. hopefully i'll be able to go visit my sister during spring break so i can visit the schools again to see if it's really something i want to do. i haven't decided for sure yet what i'm going to do, but i'm seriously considering transferring.

i've been like a hermit for the last few days. i started getting sick last friday, getting progressively worse each day. i finally went to the health center on tuesday and found out that i have another sinus infection. yipee. so now i'm on antibiotics and prednisone so i can actually breathe while i'm getting better. i don't understand while i'm always sick. this will be the third time that i've been seriously sick since coming to college, which is pretty ridiculous.

thankfully this semester is going by really quickly. the weeks go by so fast, that by the time it's friday, it feels like no time has gone by at all. i can't believe that february is over is a little over a week. i love it when the time flies by like this.

i've been really tired lately. and i hate that.

it kinda made my day

i got two packages yesterday, one from my mom and one from my sister full of chocolater. it kinda made my day. getting any mail that isn't school distributed makes my day. today i got a letter/disney mints (the BEST mints) from my other sister. it included a condensed list of our inside jokes. i was literally laughing out loud (not obnoxiously, of course) in the coffee shop while i was reading it. it just brought back so many good times...and some not so good, but hilarious times. like over christmas break, me and rachel went to see a movie with our parents. they made us go to the theatre to reserve seats while they got popcorn and drinks. when we were walking to our theatre, we hear this "RAAAAAAAACHELLLLLLLLLL" booming across the lobby. we turn around and everyone in the lobby is starting at our dad. we just start cracking up like no other, like i could barely stand because i was laughing so hard. it's funny how things change when you get older. a few years ago, i would have been mortified, but now, it's just absolutely hilarious...mostly because i knew i probably wouldn't know anyone there, and if i did, we don't go to the same school any more so i'll never have to see them.

my math class was cancelled this morning. it kinda made my day. it meant that i got an extra hour or so of sleep, which definitely made me a happier person. though, i was in such a routine of getting up at 8, that i kept waking up afraid that i was supposed to be awake or in class already. it was kind of stressing me out, actually, but being able to go back to sleep knowing i didn't have to be in class was a great feeling. i don't know, i never have to get up super early. my first class isn't until 9:20 on monday, wednesday, friday and at 9:30 on tuesday, thursday. I never get up earlier than 8, unless i have to go to the hub to get breakfast instead of eating in my room. i've actually been pretty lucky not having an 8:00 class....unlike rebecca who has had one 4/5 days of the school week both last semester and this semester.

me and emilie are going out to dinner and then to see fool's gold tonight. i hope it's good. i really just can't wait to get off campus. plus, the downtown area of spokane is a lot nicer than the area whitworth is in...still sketch, but not quite as much as here. i really am not a sane person if i don't get off campus at least once a week. i get really stir crazy.

once i get my car here, i'm going to try to find a place to ride. the lady that i talked to way back in october offered me a care lease on her horse, which i cannot afford at all. i emailed her to see if i could at least come ride a couple times a week once i get my car here, but she hasn't emailed back yet. the only downfall with it is that it is about a half hour away. if i could find a place closer, it would be ideal, but it's harder to find places to ride for free when it's not a single horse owner. barn managers or people who run lesson programs are less likely to offer free riding opportunities, even if it is with naughty horses. i think that will really make me a much happier person to find a place to ride. honestly, even just a place where i can go hang with the horses would be better than nothing. who knows, maybe i'll be able to find a part time job teaching lessons or doing barn work. that would be awesome.

as my sociology professor would say on fridays while we're getting ready to leave: "don't drink and drive."

1/8 done

this week is going by amazingly fast, which is wonderful. last week just seemed to draw out like no other, so it's a much needed and accepted change of pace. classes are going well, though i'm only in the second week, so who knows how i'll feel in another month. i think right now my favorite class is probably sociology. it's really ironic actually because initially i was taking that class because it satisfied the "social science" requirement, and it sounded like the best of all my options. it is surprisingly very interesting, which i could partially credit to having an amazing professor. who knew that learning about human behavior could be so interesting? i never would have guessed it. i think the thing i like about it is that he doesn't just stand there and lecture the whole time. usually every class we watch a news video and discuss it...plus there's usually a lot of discussion throughout the entire class period. even though i am not one to speak up in class, it's a lot more interesting to listen to 20 people talk throughout the period rather than just one.

my math class is really wonderful...or something. it so easy - finite math for social sciences. today we learned about budgeting and taxes, which has really made me realize that i don't keep good enough track of my money. rebecca let me put her microsoft money on my computer, so i'm starting to work on a budget so i can see where all of my money is actually going. it's not like i just spend, spend, spend. i'm actually really good and not impulse buying and watching my pennies, it's just that i don't keep a good enough watch on exactly how much i'm spending on things like coffee, or dining out. i think it will be really beneficial to me, especially when i get another job.

it weird for me to think that i'm already 1/8 done with college. it's kind of crazy to think about it in that sense. after this semester i will be 25% done. done. done. but then i'll be thrown violently into the real world, in which i will have to get a job and find somewhere to live. i don't really want to think about it.

i absolutely cannot wait to get my car over to spokane. it's gonna be amazing. i'm so excited to be able to go to starbucks to get coffee instead of at the school coffee shop. and it's gonna be nice to do my homework there. it will just be really mentally helpful to be able to get off campus and out of the pinecone curtain more often. not to mention, now i can easily go to more shows, which i've been missing. there haven't been a ton that i've missed, but some good ones like holyfield, anberlin, and straylight run have been sacrificed.

tomorrow is valentine's day, but i like to call it "single's awareness day". but honestly, i don't care at all. to me, it's just like any other day of the year. although, it's probably going to be kind of annoying to see people walking around with roses and crap. oh well. it's really just a hallmark holiday anyway. and seriously, i don't care that i'm single. in fact, it makes life a lot easier. i have more than enough love in my life from god and family.

i've really been missing my puppies recently. i used to take bubba practically everywhere with me besides school. i would take him along on any short trip. i really miss that. it was really nice to have a little buddy to bring along with me. it kind of amazes me how much i can miss little animals that can't even talk.

the headaches come and go

oh geez, it's been a long time....and how i've missed this. spring semester started on tuesday, and i'm really enjoying most of my classes. the only one i really don't like is 'business information systems'....we do work with excel and access...which i currently know nothing about. at least i have a friend in the class, so it makes it a little less horrible, haha.

well, since my last blog, i got a car! yessssssssssss. it's a 1996 white VW golf. i'm pretty much obsessed with it. unfortunately, i only had it two days before i had to come back to school. and of course, i couldn't bring it back to school with all of the insane snow...it would be especially difficult to get over the pass. but, i will be bringing it back after spring break. i can't wait to be able to go off campus.

i worked out today...it felt really good. though, for some reason, i started feeling really sick at about 3. i'm basically really, really sick to my stomach and the headaches come and go. i absolutely hate being sick. and for me, being sick to my stomach is the worst kind of sick. i would definitely rather be sneezy and coughy.

it's been soo long since my last blog, but i really don't have that much to talk about. what a boring life i have.

it hasn't snowed in a while. it's weird not feeling like you're going to fall and make a fool of yourself every time you go outside. the sidewalks get so ridiculously icy. i haven't fallen yet, which is kinda a miracle, but i'm sure it will happen sooner or later.

the writer's strike is over, at least that's what i've heard. thank God for that. this means new episodes of the office soon, and that makes me very happy.