"christ on a cracker"

college is insanity. the transition from high school to college was like being thrown onto a moving train. i often find myself on the verge of nervous break down. i feel as if i am physically drowning in work, that the pages i must read each day are suffocating me with their overpowering numbers.

the miniature glitter lava lamp that sits on my desk tries to calm me.

so much has happened in the last few weeks that it's almost unbelievable. it's almost like i am sitting back watching everything happen without really experiencing it. it's like i'm numb to everything and my body is just going through the motions of daily life. i often find myself arriving at class without really remembering how i got there. when did i leave my room? how long did it take to walk here?

autopilot kicks in when my mind is too tired to make my body function. unfortunately 'too tired' is a daily occurance. an average of five hours of sleep can't be good for my health, or my sanity for that matter.

i lost my keys last night. i feared someone would steal my whitworth university lanyard and i would go to lost and found to realize my key and id card had been separated from their keeper. luckily, some kind soul turned it into the lost and found without taking my lanyard. i was able to retrieve it this morning.

a package came in the mail today. i bought two cd's on amazon last week so that i would have a package to open. lots of people get packages from home, so i wanted to join the party. of course it's not the same when you send something to yourself, but it was just as fun to open, despite the fact that i already knew what it was. my mother is supposed to be mailing me a bunch of stuff soon, and i told her to make brownies and put them in the package. i will be very disappointed if i discover there are no brownies.

that reminds me, i am utterly sick of cafeteria food. i'm not gonna lie, it's not the worst food i've ever eaten (much better than high school), but it is the same thing every day. i put the food in my mouth each night and i can hear my tastebuds sigh. we are going grocery shopping tonight and out to dinner, which should be a great time.

you know what i hate? i hate when teachers call on you when you're not raising your hand. my c.s. lewis professor called on rebecca yesterday in class to explain c.s. lewis's childhood to our class of 80 people. as she listed off facts, i realized that i didn't remember anything. i would have completely frozen and humilated myself, had he called on me. i read these 200 page books in a week, but don't retain any of the information. i get so focused on simply finishing the book that i forget to actually comprehend the words on the page. i will read an entire page before realizing that while my eyes were following the words along the page, my mind was wandering else where.

i fell asleep during a lecture today. luckily my computer didn't fall off my lap as i drifted off. of course this little excursion into my dream world only lasted two minutes as i awoke to a nudge in the arm from rebecca. oops. this little sleep attack could have been due to getting merely 5 hours of sleep, or the fact that i am sick.

did i mention i am sick? the allergies came monday like the cavalry marching into battle. this was followed by a sore throat, cough, and runny nose tuesday, only to wake up to a wonderfully painful head ache this morning, in addition to all the other crap that hasn't gone away.

i went out with heather, rebecca, and lauren this last weekend. we went shopping, and i finally got some new converse to replace mine that are completely falling apart. i am still going to get super glue in an attempt to save them from the fate of a dumpster. they have been too good to me this last year to be thrown out like trash. we took the bus to the mall on the way back. there were a bunch of creepos at the bus stop, and we got whistled at about 4 times by passing cars, in addition to an "arrrrg." we weren't really sure what that meant. Oh, and we went to see the movie 'the brave one.' it was horrible. don't waste your money on it. it was more humorous than suspenseful, and one guy even used the phrase "christ on a cracker," to which me and heather cracked up in our seats. no one else in the theatre thought it was very funny.

i have to go to class in a half hour. i get to go listen to a lecture by a professor who told us on monday that "being drunk can give you a deeper connection with God." this is just a little taste into the craziness that i experience three days a week in my Gospel of John class. i really, truly fear that my teacher may be out of her mind. and she has a 1900's hair do, which actually looks quite hard to achieve. though maybe it's just a wig...hm.

i was supposed to be doing homework instead of writing in this blog. what a horrible influence on my studies.