don't it always seem to go, that you don't know what you've got till it's gone?

i haven't blogged in a few days. i've already failed my goal of blogging every day. oh well.

i had my first major test on friday for my core class. it was really intimidating, especially since we didn't really know how to best study because we had no idea what would be on the test. i probably ended up studying for four to five hours and still didn't feel prepared. they made us take the test in an auditorium seated every other row, every other seat so that we wouldn't cheat. we had to leave our bags in the hall and so they gave us a piece of cardboard to use as a hard surface. i ended up knowing most of the stuff, but the last section, worth 40 points, was on one of the one things i hadn't reviewed at all. i think i B.S.ed it pretty well though. i don't want to speculate on whether i did well or not because when i think i do good, i end up doing horribly, and when i think i bomb it, i end up getting an A. whatever.

i went out to dinner with five other girls from my hall last night to red robin. it was great fun.

ballroom dancing club was last night. we learned the east coast swing, which was actually really fun, but kinda hard once we started getting to the spins and stuff. it's really fun dancing with a guy who actually knows what he's doing, because then you don't feel as dumb when you don't know what you are doing, cause at least they can lead you and you can kind of follow. i ended up dancing with this one guy who blinked a lot, but stared at me the entire time. and he asked me the question "so how are you liking whitworth?" twice in a matter of about one minute. i felt bad telling him he had already asked me that, so i just answered again. the last guy i danced with (i can't remember his name for the life of me!) dipped me at the end and i didn't freak out like the last time someone tried to do that! i was very proud of myself, and i have to admit that it was really fun.

it's also more fun when the guy knows what they're doing because they do more fun stuff like spins so you aren't just doing the same two steps over and over like i ended up doing with the guy who blinked a lot. let me tell you, doing rock step, triple step gets really, really boring after a full three or four minutes.

i think i am going to like ball room dancing club, since i already enjoy it after going twice. it's the only kind of dance i actually like. screw that dumb kind of 'dancing' you do at dances and give me the foxtrot! haha. it's so much more fun and you can actually kind of talk to the guy you are dancing with. plus it's way more romantic (not that i'm romantically interested in the guys i've danced with at ballroom dance, cause i'm most definitely not).

last night i hung out with charles, pierre, lucas and alan. we watched bill and ted's excellent adventure. i highly recommend it. it is a wonderful work of keanu reeves and is highly entertaining.

i feel like i have been reading all day long, but i haven't gotten much done. it's probably because i am sitting reading in front of my computer. so then i end up on facebook or here wasting my time away. i still have soooo much reading that i need to do for my cs lewis class, it's almost ridiculous. no wait, it most definitely is ridiculous. i still have about 250 pages left to read by 3:30ish tomorrow afternoon so that i can write a response to them and submit it online by 5. the thing is, i haven't really procrastinated that much, we just get assigned so much that it seems impossible to get it all done. i don't know how i am going to finish.

i really wish i had a car. i even have dreams about getting a car. i would love to be able to get off campus once and a while without having to be back by 6 (after this is when it starts to get sketchy waiting for and riding the bus). plus, the bus doesn't go every where that i want to go, especially to the church that me and rebecca want to go to.

it just sucks knowing that so many things would be different right now if i hadn't got in my accident. i was thinking today about how much my summer sucked. i didn't get to do anything i had planned to (especially train Belle and teach lessons), and my freedom was basically taken away when my car was totalled. it happened two days before my birthday, so the fourth of july sucked, my birthday sucked and then i had to get surgery four days later and try to do normal things like get dressed and bathe with a 'club' (as i called it) for an arm, which was very difficult. then i had to go to physical therapy and wear a brace at the ranch which made everything there hard. not to mention that my parents used the insurance money from my accident (which was more than we paid for the car in the first place) to buy my mom a new car. that really put the icing on the cake of an absolutely horrible summer. and now my thumb is sore almost all of the time because i have been writing so much in all of my classes. it pops a lot when i move it, and i have started holding the pen all weird so that it won't put so much stress on my thumb. people probably watch me writing and think that i'm weird.

i try not to think about it very much, but i can't help it. the pain is a constant reminder of how horrible the last few months of my life have been. i just don't understand why it happened. nothing good came of it. nothing.

i found out a couple days ago that Sham, the horse i had been riding for the last year and took to my last show, has been sold. it's really sad for me, but i know he deserves a home where he will be shown competitively and be able to use all of his potential. it's sad knowing that most of the horses i have known for the last almost four years will be sold. even horses that i didn't really like, i will miss. it's just like the song "don't it always seem to go, that you don't know what you've got till it's gone?" i almost took all of the horses for granted, even the annoying ones, or the ones that would bite all the time, or the ones that tried to buck you off, or the ones that ran away when you tried to catch them. i will be very sad if i return home to find them all gone. i feel so out of the loop being so far away that i don't know who's being sold and who's not. it's weird. and sad.

so i really need to get back to reading now. i told myself that i would finish another 100 pages in the voyage of the dawn treader tonight, and i want to keep the promise to myself.